


and boy I'll meet you right there

by crackers4jenn



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 08:38:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16615625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackers4jenn/pseuds/crackers4jenn
Summary: Link's never shaved a beard that wasn't his own before.(AKA a circa Buddy System season 1 Link-shaves-Rhett's-beard fic that should've been completed and posted two years ago.)





	and boy I'll meet you right there

**Author's Note:**

> Did you ever want to read an unfinished "Link shaves Rhett's beard" fic that was written (and abandoned) back when Buddy System season 1 first aired???? Well, you are in for a treat, because here it is.

At what point does knocking become incessant? Maybe 'cumbersome' is a better word. Either way, Link's gone past his limit.

He gives the bathroom door a couple more bangs with the soft, fleshy side of his closed fist, even though he knows from previous attempts it's a futile gesture. He's been hanging in the doorway the past ten minutes, waiting on Rhett.

"C'mon, man," he can't help complain; _ten minutes_ , okay. He's lost ten minutes of his life to this. "You knew it was coming. We wrote the script. You signed off. _Actually_ signed off, with an actual, literal signature."

He stops and listens, and swears he can hear Rhett's existential crisis from outside the door.

"DUDE. You're being ridiculous right now, I just want you to know that. Y'know, in case you're in there self-reflecting. Make that a memo to self. YOURself, not _my_ self."

He strains to hear again. It sounds like the faucet's running. That's progress.

"I been lookin' at dog beaches for Jade." He pauses when he thinks he might've heard Rhett shuffling closer to the door, but, nope. "I'm gonna hafta travel an hour just to take my dog to the ocean, you believe that? I barely love my kids that much, let alone something I gotta clean up after it does its bathroom business. I don't even know if she'll tolerate bein' in a car that long. But, the kids wanna, plus--a dog should be able to check 'beach' off its list of life adventures. I want her to be well-rounded. And I know you ain't taking your dog to no 1-hour-away beach, and I gotta one-up you to prove I'm the better dog-dad, so."

He's literally talking to a door at this point.

Figuring he might as well get comfortable, Link relaxes into the doorway, so instead of standing normally, all his body weight is being held up by its unmovable, and unanswering, solidity.

"Think the Mythical Beasts will like me more than they like you now? I mean, I let the wings go and my likability factor--" He makes a _through the roof_ whistling noise. "I thought I was losing all my power, but turns out, I just got hotter. By, like, _a lot_. Google it."

Rhett finally flings the door open, making Link stumble sideways into the bathroom.

"You are seriously the biggest jackass I know, I'm not joking."

"Hey. Look at you!" Link's re-righted himself, and now that he's in the bathroom, albeit accidentally, he isn't leaving. He makes his way in fully, scrutinizing Rhett the whole time. "You look... exactly the same. What the heck, Rhett?"

"I can't do it. I can't. I'm weak, I don't care. I'm not doing it. I'm not."

Rhett's shoulders are raised all the way to his ears with how hard he's protesting. When he tries to bail, Link has to use all of his speed and agility to dart in his path, stopping him.

"Link."

"You're not leaving."

"Okay. I'm bigger than you, but, okay," Rhett reminds him, looking down over his nose like he's visually saying, 'see? see how I have to look down on you, you puny less-than-giant-sized man?'

Link shuts the door behind him anyway, shutting them both in.

"C'mon, man..."

"Dude. It's facial hair. I know you're like, _erotically attached_ to the freakin' thing, but you can do it, I know you can. Just a little shavey-shavey..." he tries to entice him with, carefully moving around Rhett to grab the razor left on the bathroom sink.

"I will punch you, you come any closer to me with that thing. I'm serious now."

"Yeesh, Rhett." He laughs to dispel the tension, but he feels it mounting on his end as well. Right now, they're two grown men tersely conversing in a closet-sized bathroom. "You need another moment to say goodbye? I can get out my recorder--we'll say a few words, give it a proper send-off..."

"What part of I'm _not_ doing it are you not hearing? I changed my mind. We'll figure something else out."

Link thinks his jaw might be dropped open, that's how ridiculous and crazy Rhett's sounding right now. It was agreed, very mutually he might add, that if Buddy System ever got off the ground, they were going to commit 100% to the script. Written in said script is "RHETT HAS NO BEARD" -- for one episode, sure, but that was going to be their flashback episode, it had to be _awesome._

"We can't _rewrite_ the episode--"

"Why not? You shave something!" Rhett gets the wildest, craziest look in his eyes, and he blurts like he's spewing something genius, "Shave your hair! Yeah, why'd we gotta shave my beard, let's shave your whole head. There we go. That's our new thing."

"'Cause that's the same here. That's exactly the same. That doesn't even make sense."

"Your face doesn't even make sense."

Link stares.

Rhett sighs, turning into a loose-limbed giant as he leans and sits against the sink.

"I know it's just a beard, I know it's only hair, but I _feel_ like I'm gonna _change_ if I shave it."

Link tries to follow that thought-train around the bend. He comes in a little closer, until he's standing in front of Rhett. With Rhett slouching like he is, they're the same height for once.

"You're gonna, what? Animorph?" he jokes.

Rhett gives him a you're-not-funny stare, and he exchanges a hell-yes-I-am-and-you-love-it one right back.

"I mean, myself. Who I am." Rhett turns to look at himself in the mirror behind him. He runs a self-conscious hand over his beard. "I look _goofy_ under this."

"You look goofy _over_ that," Link points out, leaning into Rhett's space to tease him good and proper.

Rhett huffs, but he doesn't push Link back. Since he's so close, Link decides it's alright to stare. Rhett's not looking, anyway, at least not at him. He's still running a hand over his beard, staring at himself in the mirror. Link watches him a few mindless seconds -- mesmerized by the sight, the rustling, the way Rhett's fingers get lost in the fullness. Then Rhett goes still, and Link only realizes it's because he reached out and stopped him himself when Rhett whips his head around and makes eye contact.

He was just moving Rhett's hand out of the way. Obviously. He does that, dropping Rhett's hand to the side while saying, "Quit bein' such a drama queen. I'll shave it, if you want--"

"NO."

Rhett tries to stand up, but Link's so close. All that happens is some awkward groin-to-groin contact. Rhett drops back down like someone tied a cement block around him and let go.

"What?" Link holds the razor up, flaring his eyes teasingly. "Think I'll cut you?"

"I _know_ you'll cut me, and you, and I value both our lives too much for that."

Link laughs out loud. "I promise I won't. Here, just let me--" He pretends to reach around Rhett for the shaving cream, but Rhett wraps his hand around Link's bicep like a clamp, stopping him.

They're at a standstill, but Link's just pushing to--well, push. He's mostly just trying to make Rhett think the only options here are either he shaves himself or Link does it for him.

He isn't expecting the hard scrutiny, the inquisitive way Rhett reads the expression on Link's face, how the mood in the room goes from kinda tense but also lighthearted, to weird and serious. So it comes as a huge shock when Rhett, with his free hand, reaches behind him, grabs the shaving cream, and offers it to Link.

Link stares at it like it's the Excalibur or something. Like the gesture is far grander than the item itself. And in a way, it is, because potential bloodshed aside, shaving a man's face is an intimate act.

Setting the razor down, and still trapped in the vice of Rhett's huge hand, Link grabs the shaving cream. That's when Rhett finally lets go.

"You get that anywhere but my beard..." Rhett trails off, but the enlarging of his eyes implies fighting will go down and he means it.

"You threaten me a lot, you know that? Just relax."

"There's a razor blade sixteen inches away from you! You're about to use it _on my face_! Shoot, you wouldn't be relaxed either, not if it was me doin' you."

Point. Link concedes it by pressing down on the canister's nozzle until the first blob of shaving cream noisily explodes out.

"I hate you," Rhett tells him.

Link grins. "Lift up."

"I seriously hate you," Rhett tells him again, complying. He tilts his head back, keeping his eyes on Link.

Link swipes the first handful down the right side of Rhett's jaw, starting up high around his sideburns, keeping it as impersonal as possible. Rhett winces the first point of contact, but Link figures that has to do with how cold the shaving cream is. He uses the tips of his fingers to spread the stuff around, overly aware of how heavy Rhett's stare is on him. If this was his own face he'd be patting it in better, but with Rhett watching him, he feels weird about it, so he mostly focuses on getting the whole beard covered, spreading another handful of shaving cream on the other side.

Rhett rearranges his mouth so his lips disappear inward, giving Link room to apply shaving cream to his mustache and chin without it getting awkward. Still feels awkward, though, especially because Link's eyes flit up, seeking out Rhett's. Rhett's staring back.

Link looks away, setting the shaving cream canister on the sink beside Rhett, next to the bowl of water Rhett already had prepared for himself.

"You wanna do this part, or should I?" he asks while he wipes his hands off on a nearby towel.

Rhett breathes out through his nose, looking down at the razor on the counter.

Muffled because of the shaving cream he's trying not to get in his mouth, he says, "How likely are you to cut me?"

"I mean, I nick myself every other mornin'--I'm kidding. I don't think I'd do too bad. You got a lotta hair."

"You sure we can't rewrite the script?"

"We're three weeks into production, man. Accept your fate."

Rhett lets out the world's most self-suffering sigh, glancing up at the ceiling like it will offer its laments. "Please don't cut me."

And here Link thought the passing of the shaving cream was a huge deal. The emotions that swell within, all because of Rhett's implied trust in him, are too big to handle right now, so he tampers them down until he's only mildly giddy.

Rhett catches the way his hand's shaking -- not from nerves, but his normal, everyday coffee jitters.

"Link--" he warns.

"Relax. I got you," he jokes.

"You better."

Link's never shaved a beard that wasn't his own before. Much as he's trying to hide it, he doesn't know how to come at Rhett's face with confidence he won't draw blood the first swipe of the blade.

Rhett's patiently waiting him out, probably afraid that if he interrupts Link's concentration, Link will get unwieldy and accidentally slice a major artery.

Driven by practicality, Link steps into the open vee of Rhett's legs, wedging himself closer. It makes Rhett sit up straight, like he's all of a sudden aware of how his knees are hugging Link in now, but pretty quickly he sinks back into his body weight, going limp once more.

It's easier, now that he's closer. He can see what he's doing and he doesn't have to hold his hand so uncomfortably. Still, that first slow swipe of the razor is one they both hold their breaths through. As soon as Link completes it, revealing a swath of bare skin, he breaks out into a laugh, relieved with how easy it was.

"Hey. Check it out. You gotta face under there after all. S'ugly, though."

Rhett says, "Ha," through his unmoving mouth, then puffs his cheeks out for the next few drags of the razor.

After a few minutes, Link stops and asks, "You wanna take a look?" 

"Keep going."

Link grabs ahold of Rhett's jaw, guiding his face to the left so he can get at the right side better. It's as his fingers are pressing in, maintaining that hold, that he feels two hands worth of someone else's fingers press into him -- into his waist, specifically. Rhett doesn't say anything, and Link sure as heck doesn't say anything either, but Rhett grabs onto Link just above the waist of his jeans, so lightly Link could've talked himself into believing he was imagining it. Except, he can feel the flex in Rhett's hands, feel the way the fingers that curl around to his back dig in. Ten new points of contact and someone else's body heat.

Link doesn't gulp, because he's not a cartoon character, but he knows his adam's apple is taking a hard dive south like it wants the heck out of there. Probably because his heart is hammering up a storm in his chest and it feels encouraged to seek out calmer waters.

Carefully, with his left hand still cradling that side of Rhett's face, Link uses the razor on the other side, dragging it from the farthest corner. The atmosphere seems to be thicker all of a sudden, and Link has to wonder if it's because Rhett's gaze is pinned on him so firmly. He feels tied to the spot by it. If not the physical location, then at least the moment, trapped between the warring urges to either meet that gaze head on and demand an explanation for it, or keep avoiding it, as he is naturally inclined to do.

"You're good at this," Rhett says quietly, now that he's had a whole stretch of his face shaved freely without incident.

Link flashes him a grin that's all teeth, not maintaining eye contact any longer than he has to. "If this Youtube thing fails, at least I got a fallback."

"Yeah? And where am I?"

"You seen the guy that sweeps all the hair off the floor--?"

Rhett's grip on Link's waist tightens, ticklishly. Link squirms, laughing, curling in on himself.

"Hey, hey, watch the razor," Rhett warns him.

"Watch the fingers," Link throws back, pretty pleased with himself when Rhett relents but doesn't let go.

"But seriously," Rhett says, after a beat. He puffs his cheeks out and waits for Link to shave another line down. While Link's dunking the razor clean, he asks, "I'm around, aren't I? I better be."

"In the hypothetical scenario that I'm, what, a professional shave therapist? Yes, Rhett, you're around."

He's being placating on purpose, but Rhett still beams up at him like Link's words are worth more than hot air.

Rhett's laughter rumbles out of him lowly, vibrating deep within his chest. "You said, 'professional shave therapist.'" Link shuts him up with a swipe close to his mouth. Doesn't deter him that long. "That's not a thing, man."

"It is if I say it is. Besides, we're talking, like, fake futures. It doesn't have to be real. I can therapize people's facial hair if I wanna."

Two thirds of the way through, the bowl on the counter is milky from the shaving cream. Most of Rhett's beard is floating on top in nasty-looking clumps.

Link takes a moment to empty it out, but not without first holding the whole thing up to Rhett.

"You want to say goodbye before I dump her down the toilet?"

"It's a he, you jerk, and no. Jerk."

Link bounces his eyebrows at him before backing out of the space between Rhett's legs, careful not to spill over either of them. He makes a little ' _whoooop_ ' noise when he pours it into the toilet, and whispers 'bye' to it when he flushes.

Rhett's stifling a grin when he comes back over, like he can't believe Link is the way that he is.

"Wanna look at yourself yet?" Link asks him as he's filling the bowl back up with fresh water out of the faucet.

"No," Rhett says insistingly, "I really don't."

Snorting, Link turns the tap off and carefully sets the bowl back down near Rhett, grabbing the razor again.

"Oh, gosh," Rhett says, worryingly.

Link gets back into position, which means invading Rhett's personal space once more. "Don't act like I'm not doing you a heck of a service here."

"It's not that, it's--whoa," he says as Link brings the razor close to his throat, angling himself away, "Gosh. I know how accident-prone you are."

"And? I already shaved most of your face. You're welcome, by the way."

"I have some regrets."

"Well, don't. You look fine."

That's not a lie. He's got most of Rhett's face shaved, giving Link an idea of what he'll look like once the beard is gone entirely. It's strange to see after knowing Rhett's face one way for so long, but it's not like he's offended by the sight or anything.

Rhett's trying to read into Link's expression, appraising as it is.

"For real?" he asks.

"I mean, it's goofy--"

Rhett tries to stand up, but Link physically stops him, laughing the whole time.

"I'm joking. C'mon. Sit back down."

"You're not funny."

"Would you sit?"

Rhett complies, giving off stubborn, 'pissed at the world' vibes. Link steps in a little closer, until his front comes in contact with the inner part of Rhett's legs. He's not thinking about that, though.

Without saying anything else, he grabs Rhett's chin and gets it angled where he needs it; he only has a patch near Rhett's mouth and the underside of his jaw to go.

Rhett's hands land on Link's waist again, a lot quicker but just as unexpected as before. It makes him pause, but not too long. Not enough to be noticeable, anyway.

They stare at each other a lot. He realizes that. When you have 30 minutes of your day taped and played back to millions, you tend to pick up on recurring habits. Staring is a thing they do, but Link comforts himself with the knowledge that it's pretty dang mutual. He knows why he looks. He might be repressing it, but he knows. Rhett, though, he's a whole other mystery.

Right now, with Rhett's gaze pinned on him so heavily, it's a little easier to figure out what's causing it. With their surroundings being what they are, there isn't much in the way of variety. Rhett's got his choice of Link, the toilet, or the wall across from them. It doesn't flatter his ego that Rhett's choosing him. But even so, even as he acknowledges that, he knows there's something a little more to the stare than just 'you got a big face and it's right there.'

"What?" Rhett says, picking up on Link's thought process, or at least that it's slowing down and zeroing in on one thing. "It looks bad?"

Such an ego. Link scoffs, coming to himself a little more. He tips Rhett's head purposely. "Quit being so worried. It's fine."

"Fine like, 'dang, girl, you into Crossfit?' or do you mean more--" He sighs out a _ho-hum_ noise of indifference, then widens his eyeballs to optically demand a clarification.

Link shaves the spot near Rhett's mouth, making Rhett puff out his cheeks obediently.

"What world are you living in you'd think I'd ever 'dang, girl' you?" he asks as he concentrates on not drawing any blood.

Rhett waits it out. When Link completes the swipe and rinses the razor, he says, "Trust me. I know you. You've already 'dang, girl'ed me three times today, _at least_."

Link huffs out a small laugh. He shakes his head to deny it, but aborts halfway, reconsidering jokingly.

Rhett clenches his knees around Link, just as teasingly. Probably he didn't expect that Link would get pulled inward, dragging them together pretty dang biblically, but Rhett doesn't correct or address the new closeness so neither does he.

"Keep dreaming, brother," he gives back lowly.

"Well, yeah," Rhett says, calculatedly casual, and Link swears he develops an instantaneous eye strain from how quickly he looks to make eye contact with Rhett.

Rhett, of course, busts out a quick laugh at Link's response like it's what he meant to have happen all along, but the second he drops it things get weird again.

Ignoring it, Link shaves more of Rhett's beard off. The rest of the patch near his mouth is gone, revealing almost all of Rhett's face to him. Fighting the tension in the bathroom, he stops and admires what he's done so far. It doesn't look half as bad as Rhett freaked out it would be.

"Every time you stop like this, I get worried."

"Why? Scared I'm shaving, like, _inappropriate beard art_?"

Rhett snorts. "I can tell you're shaving straight lines. I just don't know why you keep _stopping_. You having regrets is making my regrets--" He stops and shakes his head. "Off the charts, man."

Link doesn't say anything. Rhett's not going to be convinced that he looks alright until he looks in the mirror himself.

With just below Rhett's jawline left, Link drags the razor through the water bowl and cleans it off. Rhett tips his head back himself, baring his throat, allowing Link access. His adam's apple dips.

Link's acutely aware of Rhett's breathing. Every exhale out hits him warmly across some part of his hand or arm, depending on the angle of the shave. The last time Rhett's breathing took up so much of Link's concentration, they were sharing a tent and Rhett was lying next to him in the pitch dark and dead silence, a little too closely since they were in the desert and the temperatures had dropped more than they thought they would over night. You don't really notice another person's breathing until it's hitting you in the shell of your ear.

Or, as it so happens now, across the sensitive skin of Link's wrist.

"Almost done," he says, for something to say.

Rhett sits through the rest of the shave in silence. It doesn't take much longer. Less than five minutes later, Link's dropping the razor in the water bowl for the last time, leaving it there, and bringing the hand towel up to Rhett's face to wipe off the extra shaving cream.

"There you go."

When he pulls the towel away, he gets to see Rhett beardless in all his glory for the first time. Instantly he feels like, twenty years old, since that's the last time he remembers Rhett without any sort of facial hair.

"How's it look?" Rhett asks him, scanning his eyes for an answer Link might be giving away.

"Not too bad."

Rhett makes a face. "You can't be any more encouraging than that? A guy shaves off the protective beard blanket he's had the past twenty years, and all you got is 'not too bad?'"

"This where I'm supposed to say 'dang, girl'--"

Rhett lets go and stands up, forcing Link to step out of his way by sheer mass alone. All Rhett's doing, though, is turning to look at himself in the mirror, so Link stays where he is.

Running a hand over his naked jaw, Rhett frowns at his reflection.

"You don't like it?"

"S'weird," Rhett tells him, murmuring it.

"In what way?"

Rhett just drops his hand, bending to get a closer look. He tilts his head to the left, then the right, checking it out from different angles. He puckers his lips and glares.

Link laughs at him, smacking him on the arm. "It's not that bad."

"I look like a freak. Look how small my chin is, man. That's unnatural."

"Looks pretty normal to me."

"It's so much worse than I expected. I mean, look at me."

Link does, stepping away so he's side-by-side with Rhett. Rhett hasn't stopped giving himself a distasteful, regret-filled once-over in the mirror.

"Hey, quit it, alright? It's fine. You look great."

Rhett scoffs.

"Want me to pinky-swear it?" Link demands from him. "I, Charles Link Neal, hereby swear--"

"You can't even get your full name right, I'm supposed to trust your judgment?"

"I was testing you. You passed. Look at me."

Rhett, after one last moment of sorrowfully gazing at himself, listens, giving Link a look like he expects miracles will happen, like Link's a guy suddenly capable of spontaneous hair growth on other people.

"It's not bad," he tries, opting for subtle because he thinks anything else will trip Rhett's bullshit detector.

For the record, Link is not bullshitting. Since the dawn of his libido, he has at most points in in his life been uncomfortably aware of how attractive Rhett is. Looking at him now, that ain't changing.

"Bad." Rhett repeats it like Link might as well have shielded himself in horror, appalled by the sight before him.

"You fishin' for something? I got other words."

Rhett starts getting antsy, letting out one of them sighs that usually tips Link off that a silent treatment's about to go down. Not that Rhett wields those as weapons. More like, he withdraws as a means to recharge.

Link reaches out a hand and stops him from fidgeting, catching hold of Rhett's shoulder. For some reason, the gesture draws Rhett in, physically as well as emotionally. He curls inward, his head hanging down close enough Link can smell the lingering shaving cream.

"Truth be told, I'm a little jealous," Link admits, in a quiet voice that seems to stay between just the two of them, no bathroom echo at all. At this slip, this faux confession, Rhett lets his eyes roam until they find Link's. "You're still a handsomer devil than me. All that dang hair."

A little bit of mirth makes its way into Rhett's stare.

"Sure. It's the hair."

Link squeezes where he's still gripping Rhett. "Hey, be nice now. I'm trying to compliment you."

"Go ahead."

"I knew you were fishin'," Link teases, but he complies, giving it up way too easy. "You got real nice eyes."

"Hmm."

"Shut up. I like that mole. By your lip."

"Mm."

"You, uh. Have this thing, with your cheeks. When you smile." Rhett smiles. His cheeks are, in fact, doing That Thing. "Yeah. I like that."

"What else?"

"You're so modest."

He barely even gets the whole thing out; Rhett falls forward, pretending like he's going in for a full body tackle, but Link straightens his elbow out and keeps him at an arm's length, cracking up the whole time.

Rhett pokes him in the stomach instead.

"Alright, alright," Link concedes. His laughter is turning into a giggle, and that right there is a dead giveaway he's feeling--flirty? Fond? At this point in their friendship he's stopped trying to define the moments they share, but the mood has shifted from playful to serious.

Link claps Rhett's shoulder and let's go. He's genuinely surprised they haven't been interrupted by one of their wayward employees. Ten minutes of privacy has become unheard of since the expansion of GMM.

"I'mma let you bond with yourself in peace," Link jokes, "or mourn, if you're still feeling like--"

He's two steps out of Rhett's personal space when Rhett draws him back in. Bizarrely, the first thought that crosses his mind is the wheel endings, and how happy he is they're gone for this reason alone. The frequent manhandling. That thought is shattered into oblivion the very next second, when Rhett keeps pulling, all the way into a kiss that stuns Link immobile.

It ain't a heated kiss -- no one's frantically grappling at the other, their mouths are closed -- it's soft and gentle with the feeling that it's not their first, though it most definitely is.

Link's hands had landed on Rhett's chest. He can feel, now, Rhett's heartbeat through the thin fabric of his shirt, the only indication this is as big of a deal as it is: it's hammering hard, thumping against Link's palm like it's mimicking his knocks from before.

When Rhett pulls back, he doesn't go very far, and he doesn't say anything either, like he spilled all there was to spill with the kiss itself.

"Hmm," Link hums, with his eyes closed. "Dang, girl," he jokes, his voice whisper quiet, and Rhett breathes out a laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to insert the ending of your choice here.


End file.
